My Pain Scale Rating

After knowing the reason why you broke up with me- “my closure”, I felt I have started from ground 0 again. Only this time it is;

harder than when I heard from your friend that you have moved on,
more painful than when the time you greeted me a day before my birthday,
more throbbing than when I saw Barum,
more difficult than when I met you to give back your bag,
harsher than when I met you to ask something,
more dreadful than knowing that you are just within my vicinity having fun,
nastier than when you sent me SMS as if I was nothing to you,
more heartbreaking than when you seemed to have forgotten all our milestone dates,
crueler than when you said to end the relationship.

The detached tone of your messages, the coldness of your treatment and the finality of your decision cautioned me that I have indeed reached the d.e.a.d. e.n.d.

If I am going to rate what I am feeling right now in a pain-scale, I say it’s 9/10. I feel awful and terrible. It feels like something’s piercing my heart, making sure every vein is bleeding more than usual. And it’s bleeding not for survival, not because some gland in my brain tells my heart to pump, I believe it is bleeding as a reactive action towards the excruciating pain it has to bear.

Not that I am trying to be brave to declare that a pain like this only deserves a 9. It is a 9 because I am saving my 10 for the time I would lose someone, the time you will onboard for Dubai and the time I will learn someone else has taken my place in your heart.